I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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