had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
only you would photoshop your dick
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
This is my gift to your gina
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
