I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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