The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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