I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize