so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
