he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
