dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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