i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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