people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's never too late to be topless.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
