I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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