Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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