For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Someone shit on the floor
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
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he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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