Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
