so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
