she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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