I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
