dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
