That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
