i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
