Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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