watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
