There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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