Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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