: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
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