and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
