the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
