Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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