She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
