I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
