Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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