How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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