I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize