Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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