i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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