Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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