wrigley field is MILF paradise
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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