doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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