her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize