What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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