So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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