You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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