I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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