Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
honey bunches of taint.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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