great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize