My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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