dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
