He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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