There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
