Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
