my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize