You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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