You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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