Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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