Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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