you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
