About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
