Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
