Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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