Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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