Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
