He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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