Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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