Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
