I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize