i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
