fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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