Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
