So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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