I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
