Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
