White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
