you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
