idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
