the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
