I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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