Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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