nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
