just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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